July 4th week -

7/22/2012
I didn't get a lot of update today since I was awake for most of the time during the stay. I did heard though that Doctor Chan will be coming back to do a check up with Alwin again since his bleeding stopped from taking Cellton.

7/23/2012
Got an update that really frustrates me - Alwin was already being transported to the Diamond Centre before Dad and Mom arrives. The appointment was booked at 10AM but he was being transported at 9:40AM. The doctor / nurse unplugged his drugs and put him on a wheelchair, given a mask and two hot blankets to him. The wait didn't take long, but the process took about one and a half hour, which brings me to the point. Why didn't anyone, especially the doctor or nurse, recommended him to wear diapers? While the wait for the results, he was puking and complaining about pain. So why didn't anyone recommend taking a shot of the hydromorphone first before his IV pole was unplugged? According to Mom, she has to explicitly mention that Alwin is a critical patient for the receptionist to speed things up at the audiologist. On top of that, the receptionist has to call back to the BMT Leukemia department and confirm information and etc which took them another 5 minutes or so. What is going on with the communications in the hospital? The quality of care, regardless of specific nurses, are extremely poor. The bad way of putting this could be: they seemed like they were taking advantage of a family member being there for him, that they could care less.

When Alwin was just about to get better, bad things have to happen on top of it. I have already written a complain letter to Patient Care Quality Office about the VGH not giving clarifications and communications among individuals and staff, with their limited quality of care.

The results - his ears are 2/3 permanently damaged, even if the GVHD is gone. He only have 1/3 hearing left. Let us pray that this ear GVHD will not progress. Losing any of the sense will be extremely lifeless... especially hearing. One of his interests was always listening to anime musics and watching anime to catch the voice actors/actresses.

I ended up searching on google, regardless of whether they are academic resources, how much GVHD patients will result in deafness. 2 out of 993 patients (0.02%). First, 5% of stem cell perfect match will result in acute GVHD, 10% of steroid treatment fails, 20% of ATG treatment fails, 70% of etanercept treatment fails, and 0.02% of patients will result in deafness. The chances of a similar case of Alwin's? You do the math.

7/24/2012
I got a reply from the manager of Patient Care Quality Office and we had a long phone talk. I explained to her how bad the quality of care was referring especially yesterday's case. She will look into it day by day to give me an update on resolution and if I wanted to file a formal complaint. At the same time, Mom also talked to the Chief Doctor of T15 today and explained the same thing to him. The chief doctor agreed that what the other doctor did - disconnecting the IV pole without knowing how long the audio test would take, and not offering diaper or nurse to accompany him to the department, was completely wrong. After he mentioned that he would look into it, Mom immediately added that was what he said from last meeting, but it happened again. How many times do they have to screw up before it kills someone?

Alwin is still going to the toilet quite frequent. I also heard from a late night update from Mom that the residential doctor (by the way his name is Dr. Pray) will be going back to Thailand. I want his bad decision-making be on his reputation. I will file a formal complaint specifically on him - for Alwin's sake and for everyone's sake. His poor decision made Alwin suffer yesterday and today.

Brother keep it up! God be with you!

7/25/2012
Alwin's bowel movement at around 11AM was starting to have blood - the same color we saw 7 days ago. And he's going every hour. Alwin has gotten weaker.

I will be having a face-to-face meeting with the manager of Patient Care Quality Office tomorrow. I don't think this is coincidence at all. The Thailand doctor's mistake, according to Dr. Forest, the chart, and the day-by-day observation, completely goes with it. His idea of disconnecting the IV pole for 2 hours long and his change of medication completely ruined it. Anyone that is reading this with a medical background can argue with me that there is no medical evidence. Anyone without background knowledge can see this. This is physical evidence. Alwin got worse, it is a fact.

We all know the doctors and nurses already told us that he might not get better. But they don't know that he might've gotten better. Moreover, GVHD has yet to be known what it really is - why it also attack ears, mouth, and other organs. No doctors in the world has a clear solution as in why it happens. All they know is the stem-cell is rejecting the foreign body. So why was the prednizone changed when everything was stable?

Mom called me in the afternoon and said she wanted me to talk to Dr. Forest instead since I have much more information and I have a clear vision of what happened. I took the day off tomorrow to meet up with the manager anyway. So I will see if I can meet up with Dr. Forest.

Mom called me again and just chatted a bit about him having ear discharge now. She asked Alwin if he wants me there, he said doesn't matter. But I'm sure he does. So I went at around 730PM, but he was pretty much dosed off with drugs. I saw the care aide and chatted with her a bit. I also observed her way of taking care Alwin, which was a little rough but fine.

Vincent from superstore came to pay a visit. But Alwin was deeply asleep. I also heard that the other crew members came. Thank you guys for always trying to pay a visit. However, Alwin's white blood cell is extremely close to zero now and we would like to limit visits until his counts go back higher. We welcome and need your visit in the close future, don't forget to call me or Mom at 604-780-0187 or 604-369-8233 before you guys pay a visit. Alwin loves you all!

Seeing Alwin tonight was grateful. But comparing to last Sunday, he definitely looked way weaker. He is really bony now. He knew I was here. He wanted to open his eyes to see me and talk to me. He tried. His eyes could only open half way and closed again. His energy and body was limiting him, on top of being dosed. It's ok Alwin. All you need to know is I was here for you, and will always be.

I then taught the care aide how Alwin likes the way we do it. I waited for his next bowel movement to let him know I was still there. After he finished, he went back to his sleep. When I was about to depart, he somehow knew and tried his best to open his eyes and lift his arm for a split second just to make a slight wave goodbye. He gave a look that looked as if he did not want me to leave. I waved at him and could not hold my tears and departed at 11:35PM... His last stool color was bloody dark red.

I hope his weaknesses tonight came from the drugs. But his physical appearance tells me the other story.

Brother, you can do this! You are the strongest in our family here! Please fight through this!! I have yet to play more future games with you!!!

7/26/2012
I went to the hospital at 11AM to drop by Alwin's first to see what is new. I heard Alwin has a slight fever and that his stools are bloodier again. I then went to the meeting. I explained what I needed, as mentioned on my previous entries. They will definitely follow up with this day-by-day and talk to T15 director and members. I went back and heard from Mom that they were planning to put the hydromorphone as constant supply direct to his Hickman line now after Alwin nodded. I immediately went to talk to a nurse and figure out the situation. They had some misunderstanding as into why we press it for him instead. Now the misunderstanding is cleared up, they decided to not change anything.

An X-Ray technician/nurse came and asked for Alwin to go to their floor and take X-Ray for his chest. He has been having some weird breathing sound and might have a lung problem - pneumonia. We were shocked - didn't we already mentioned that he is not available to be transported? Then the resident came and talked to them again that he wanted it done mobile - another miscommunication that we caught.

On top of that, for some random reason, his antibiotics were "done" according to the IV machine, but saw 1/3 left in the bag. So whoever hang that bag must've put in the wrong rate of flow.

Mom was nervous about Alwin's temperature. It went up to 38 degrees the last time she checked it.

Another care aid arrived at around 7PM and I departed. God Bless Alwin - you must survive through this. You have fought for so long and we all know that this will not take any longer if you fought through this fever!

7/27/2012
I got an early update from Mom while I was on the skytrain. Mom arrived early and see how Alwin was. The fever went away (for now). Alwin was quite awake today. It seems like the guts pain has temporary stopped. He was also joking and teasing the nurse there - he was told that he should stop touching his nose due to low platelet count, but he stuck out his tongue and said "Why don't you give me YOUR platelets!?" That was an LOL there!

X-Ray results were out. He does have slight pneumonia and is under antibiotics now. Hopefully this will stop the progress of it and clean out everything. In terms of his stools, it is still dark red.

7/28/2012
An eventful day - Mom cooked some "special" chinese medicine for Alwin to drink, which was not made of herbs, and let's not get into the details of the ingredients. But she was searching all kinds of ways to buy more of those. Apparently this ingredient is extremely rare in the market due to its "speciality" - again not into details.

Mom wanted to try all sorts of ways to stop Alwin's bleeding, including suggesting to take that "Sacred medcine" from a month ago, calling the other chinese doctor for the recipe, asked most of the chinese medicine vendors. And this cycled around for 2 hours.

No news... well Alwin's stool was not as red. But he definitely looked different. Tired. Weak. And I know that look.

Fight. We need to be hopeful. Brother. We are all supporting you!

God Bless.

7/29/2012
At around 10AM, I was contacted by (the most caring) nurse that Alwin has multiple infections. There must be a crucial decision to be made ASAP. They spotted the bugs progressing to his Hickman line. According to them, the bugs like foreign objects, such as the Hickman line. In other words, it has to be removed so that the antibiotic can focus on his body. However, the dilemma that the nurse mentioned was that he will have to have multiple peripheral IVs on his arms, which were already really irritated to him back then. And there will also be a change of procedures to his medications since not all of them can be gone through peripheral IV.

So as I arrived to the hospital at 1030AM, I made the call with Alwin agreeing to it. The Hickman line must be taken out. Before the specialist came, the other nurse came in first and stabbed him with the IVs first. As expected, he screamed from the pain. What was more is Mom's over-reacting to his scream making the environment more stressful. At 7PM, the specialist came and tried the first run to take out the Hickman line but failed to do so since the line has been there since January and his flesh is pretty much attached to it. So the specialist called for second opinion. The other specialist came and took it out under the same procedure. How it was suppose to be is that, if the Hickman line is easy to be taken out, that means the infection is there. But according to them, the Hickman line was rather hard to be taken out - the infection might be somewhere else.

This left all of us questioned tonight. We were told that they spotted where and what exactly the infection bugs are. But it came out differently. Although the antibiotic is known to fight this infection, it might take a while for his body to cope with it. It is a race between the antibiotic and the infection bugs... Alwin make your body work!

God Bless Alwin - let him fight through this infection.

7/30/2012
Thanks to Shaina covering the morning (7AM, when the care aide leaves) since Mom needed the extra sleep. Mom went to the hospital at 1030AM. According to what they said, Alwin can hear a bit again - to us that means the antibiotic is working! We hope this is the case and that the antibiotic can kill the bugs.

Later on the day, Mom figured out that the nurse leader refused to call for a care aide tonight saying that Alwin will be fine himself. We disagreed and ended up "forcing" Alicia to stay overnight.

7/31/2012
Alicia barely slept while Mom came in a little later. Alwin was overwhelmed due to the multi-assessments made today - that includes putting the PICC Line in his arms, changing the position of the line twice, taking three X-Rays due to the improper position of the PICC line, and the audio test from the audiologist. He hit his head multiple times on his pillow and yelled out that he wanted to get some sleep.

I emailed the Quality Care manager to tell her about this unorganized matter. The PICC line positioning sometimes is uncontrollable this I know, but audio test could definitely be booked on another day. They had to make it today for some stupid reason. If these assessments keeps stacking on, I am not sure if Alwin really wants to continue on. He is already extremely irritated. At least our favourite nurse, Delphine, was there today until 7:30PM. Thanks to her. Otherwise, I am not sure how we could handle this.

There will be one general care aide for the whole floor. But Mom and I discussed and we wouldn't trust him. So Mom decided to stay overnight.

Condition-wise: Alwin's blood infection was known to be clean now - two blood test came out negative. But his eyes and skin are quite yellow. His liver is working really hard...

God Bless Alwin.

The meeting

This is Alicia.

It's 4:07pm now and we just finished a 2-hour meeting with the doctor, nurses, social workers, spiritual workers, physicians. The doctor, with the spritiual worker and my parents are now talking to Alwin about the facts in room 15220.

There was a total of 12 people in the meeting, including my cousins, Shaina and Sonya, my parents and me. (no, Alwin wasn't in the meeting.)

There have been messages passing around the family and we have been thinking the hospital has given up on Alwin, slowly decreasing dosages of medication, stopping treatments without Alwin's or our permission, in other words, slowly 'killing' Alwin.

The misunderstanding has cleared up a bit in the meeting.

The fact is: Alwin's GVHD is untreatable; the hospital has done everything they can, they have given him all the treatments, all the medications they have. If Alwin's GVHD WAS treatable, his body would have reacted to the treatment within, at most, a week (usually in a few days, the doctor said)

The doctor admited that there were some sort of miscommunication between the nurses about extra pills being given to Alwin; however, there were reasons to the stopping of the Etanercept, the Octeontide, and the sudden decrease in size (of the bag) of the nutrition given to Alwin.

The fact is, again, Alwin's GVHD is untreatable, "there is no point in continueing the treatment if Alwin's body is not reacting", the doctor said, they WOULD give him the eighth (the last) dosage of Etanercept IF there was an improvement, and since Alwin did not improve over these WEEKS, they decided not to give his last dosage of Etanercept because it wouldn't change a thing. BUT they did apologize to us that they should have informed us about these decisions because Alwin has been having hope that they would keep giving him injections.

About the stopping of Octeontide, which is a pill that helps with diarrhea and GVHD. Alwin hasnt been comfortable with swallowing pills. As Alwin's gut hasnt' been improving, the Octeontide wouldn't help a lot either. Alwin's gut is very eroded now and it has been constantly springing out blood inside him, the Octeontide would only help him go to the bathroom a little less frequent, but it wouldn't help with his bleeding; also, the effectiveness of Octeontide of treating GVHD is "a drop in a bucket" comparing to Entanercept. Therefore,  they have decided to stop giving the Octeontide; the stopping of Octeontide would not affect Alwin's situation at all.

If some of you have noticed, Alwin has been given a smaller bag of nutrients; this is to prevent more puffiness of Alwin. Alwin has been given too much fluid, there was a little fluid in his lungs, and he had been having puffy feet, face, etc. The smaller bag of nutrients contain the SAME amount of nutrients with the big one, just less fluid, more concentrated; so such change is actually good for Alwin; they are not trying to starve Alwin.

Anyhow, we have all decided that it's time to tell Alwin the truth, slowly, by a doctor, that there WILL BE NO MORE treatment they can give to him. There WILL BE NO IMPROVEMENT, he is not going to get better. They will be asking for his decisions, too, i believe. Alwin, himself, knows that he is very prone to infection; his WBC count is 0.8 today. Robert, the nurse, told us that, patients who come to this stage, usually dies of one of the two things: a very horrible infection, or a very severe hemorrage. 

"you need to start creating your memories now," Robert said, "bad memories will fade in time, you will not stay like this in the rest of your life".

My mom broke into tears, as expected, but she told us it will be the last time she's going to cry because she doesn't want Alwin to see him cry. But Robert has mentioned that if Alwin needs to cry, cry with him or let him cry, it's okay to have a little nosebleeding from blowing his nose, they would give him platelets to fix that.

It's very important that we let Alwin stay as comfortable as he can. 

He already knows his disease is untreatable.

We don't know when will the time come, it might be tomorrow, weeks, or months.

July 3rd week -

7/15/2012
In the middle of the night, Alwin went to the toilet quite frequent - mostly he rushed in too without me besides him yet. It seemed like he cannot hold his bowels as long as before. Jenny came up at 7AM to take over for a few hours until Mom and Dad arrives. An unfortunately event happened. Alwin tripped (again, maybe his fourth time since he was re-admitted to the hospital) in the toilet. Though Jenny helped him into the toilet, Alwin didn't want "outsiders" to see him in this state. Hearing some movements, Jenny asked at the door if he needed help or if he's okay. The door opened and hit her face, right after knowing that he fell on his back to the door and on the floor. Jenny quickly called the nurses who were all in a meeting. Four nurses came out and checked up on him. I heard this news and went back to the hospital. Alwin looked fine. The fall didn't change his mood or emotions. Nurses confirmed that he didn't fell on his head. Mom and Dad arrived with Aunt Marian at 10AM. Mom quickly asked was he examined, I told her four nurses came and checked and everything was okay. She replied and said "Who cares about the nurses?". She quickly checked the sheet that we use to record Alwin's time going to the toilet. She looked confused at the frequency. I added that the last time might be mostly urine, and she asked "Why the hell did you write that time down then?" And she crossed it out herself. I had enough. I only slept for 4 hours within these 48 hours. So without a word, I departed with Jenny. At this point, I think my Mom has to start backing off for her to accept the fact that Alwin is not getting any better. Every little thing that she's doing is for her own sake and perspective, not in Alwin's.

During the nap, Michelle (Alwin's childhood friend) contacted me and asked what was happening. She was confused as in why my Mom would write a complain note. I heard that and I was confused too. From what Michelle said, my Mom didn't understand why the treatments were taken off. They were planning to lower down the nutrients because that is giving him congestion problems - for the sake of his comfort. Michelle also mentioned a really good point that we never really thought about, that is what if Alwin didn't want us to hear the truth instead? What if he's the one that doesn't want to give us more stress? She stayed and talked with Mom for a bit - and will come back these two days and see what she can do about Mom's emotions and Alwin's confrontation on his status.

Rex also called me and asked what was happening, we are on the same boat. We both think that it could be the hospital's economic and financial issue to maintain Alwin. Considering the etancercept could cause an average of $5,000 per shot, TPN $3,500 per pack, excluding any labours and maintenance drugs - that is already a total of about $150,000. But if that really is the case, then we have a serious issue here. Hospitals should NOT give up on patients because of financial issues. On top of everything being said, why would the doctors make the changes without Alwin agreeing or letting us know? Isn't that against ethics too?

Got an update from Alicia - I heard Shaina and Mom told Alwin about his status. Alwin denied and said hospital would have a Plan D (or a 4th treatment on him). He trusted that the hospital would never give up on patients. He put 100% faith on the doctors and nurses here. In terms of the nutrient packs (TPN) and other adidtional drugs that might make use to slow down the diarrhea, Mom wanted those to be continued because Alwin never really knew what was happening. The doctors will talk to Alwin directly about the stop of treatment and explain it tomorrow again - I am worried about how Alwin will handle it after he hears it. Dad also called me at around supper time, he told me Alwin actually ate half of a "Chicken Tail Bread"! And also a Siu Mai! That's something new! He did not puke also! 

Alicia will be staying with Alwin tonight, she also played Prince of Tennis with Alwin - a 7-year-old PlayStation2 game that is completely hard to find that: took me a few hours to find a good torrent to download, and needed Alicia to download from home, and have Lok burn it for us, and Lok buying an extra TV-box to hook it up at the hospital. And we all know that Alwin would love this game sooooo much! Our plan finally succeeded! This is how we care each other as a family!

Alwin had so much fun playing with Alicia - they played a total of 3 games. And Alwin gave a high ten to Alicia after the game. He slowly felt exhausted after all those fun and fall asleep.

Thanks to all that contributed today - A Sunday that we will never forget. Shaina, Sonya, Aunt Marian, Michelle, Josey, Kenneth and Weissy for visiting and confronting this with Mom and Alwin. Alicia and Lok to work out Alwin's favourite game with me. Jenny for helping out to spot me in the morning and take care of Alwin. And God for putting us to be together as a family.

7/16/2012
Alicia posted another post - the meeting, to reflect the afternoon meeting with the doctors. I went there after work. Alwin seemed like he was really exhausted from the breakdown, so is everyone else. Mom, Dad, Eric, Aunt Anita, Sonya, Shaina, Kevin and Aunt Marian was here. Eric and I went to grab a bite. We seemed to both have an idea of what afterlife is because we both have a friend that had experienced coma. We went back to take over so that Mom, Dad and the others could also have dinner. Alwin never really was as awake. He one-eyed at me and Eric when he was awaken from his coughing, and went back to sleep. I only talked to him like twice. But he was just dosing off.

Everyone came back from dinner, Eric took off first, and then I did.

God Bless Alwin. Hope he stays strong - I am sure his willpower to make him continue to live.

7/17/2012
Did not get a lot of updates today except grief from Mom - apparently I heard Dad woke up in the morning at 4AM and said he couldn't sleep properly, so he went home instead. Mom was there all alone for the whole day. Alicia planned to go at night. I tried asking for more but Mom didn't want to talk - she felt really depressed from Dad's action and of course the loneliness. Mom isn't a cheerful person, so there's just so miuch she can do by herself with Alwin, two of them alone. Alicia eventually arrived at night and took over. I also heard that Alwin took around 5 of the Cellton pills.

7/18/2012
I was too overwhelmed from work in the past few days, so I decided to take the day off. Arrived at the hospital at 10:30AM to see that Mom already arrived and Alicia sleeping. Alwin was pretty dosed off from some drugs that helps him with his puffiness. There wasn't a lot happening except the fact that his stools were not red - which again could be the Cellton helping, or the Cellton mixing the color of the red. But there is nothing worse to lose now. So he took a total of 10 of those (in a mixture).

In the afternoon, the new Chinese massage therapist came and helped Alwin massage. Alwin slept for a long while until everyone, except Dad, was departing and then he woke up and asking where everyone was going. So I stayed longer until around 10:30PM and told him that he should really take the Cellton. He asked why is everyone telling him to take it. He still didn't understand why until I took him that now there isn't any treatments anymore, and this supplement is our last hope. I chatted with him to let him understand my perspective. I treat this as a medication more than a supplement already. He brainstormed a while, looking like he was reminded that he does not have long left, and told me to figure out a way to mix it for him. I took 7 of those pills and mixed it with the Vitamin C water we bought at the lobby - which he suddenly requested after Mom threw them away, and Jenny mentioning that lobby coffee shop should have them. He quickly sipped the mixture, and the prescribed pills, and sat for a few minutes. He then slowly lay back on the bed. Jenny and I then departed, and counted on Dad to take care of him overnight.

7/19/2012
Finally got a call from Mom in the afternoon, knowing that Alwin actively asked for help to go take a walk around the floor. During his walk, the whole floor turned into a parade. All the nurses and even doctors were cheering for Alwin. I also heard Sonya was singing in the background, although I wasn't sure what she was singing about. It is nice to hear that my Mom and Alwin have company today from Aunt Marian and our two lovely cousins. Alwin also took 5 dosage of Celltons this noon.

Bad news is, Alicia told me she is feeling a little sore in her throat - must be from the lack of sleep and dry foods. Luckily it is Thursday today, meaning that I will be the one taking over the nights these two days.

On Alwin's side, I heard from Mom that Alwin mention about one of his ear not able to hear anything - meaning that he has only one ear left to hear, on top of it being muffled.

God Bless Alwin - please give him the willpower to continue on and fight through this. And Alicia to recover. And everyone else - we need this energy together, let us all focus and break through this.

7/20/2012
Update from Mom - I heard that Alwin woke up at 6AM in the morning and requested to take a shower. He also walked two laps with Mom!! On top of that, he asked Mom to give him Cellton to take!!! He is getting really energetic and he is fighting with his own willpower! He wants to make a breakthrough!! He wants to continue on!!! Dear God is giving him it!!! Alwin you can do this!!! I will be staying overnight tonight and take care of him!! 

Just got another update from Mom mentioning that she requested for an audiology specialist. The audiology department mentioned that they had never really got a report from Alwin's nurses that he is having a hearing problem - which the nurses should have done weeks ago when Alwin's ears are starting to get muffled.

I arrived at the hospital at around 8PM and see Sonya, Shaina, Kevin and Aunt Marian here with Mom and Dad - with Sonya helping out Alwin with massaging his foot. Sonya, Shaina, and Kevin definitely gave a lot of energy in the room and accompanied Alwin a lot. It was unfortunate that this could not go on too late at night and they had to depart. Mom and Dad also took off afterwards. 

Just when things were starting to quiet out a little, Alwin started feeling nauseous and puked out the chicken he had this afternoon - everything that he ate. His throw-up maintained for a few minutes until he finally settled and said "Churches chicken was a complete bad idea". He requested for some Avant and went back to sleep - though I noticed that there was a lot of coughing in the middle of the night. I hope it wasn't from the puke.

God Bless Alwin - please be with him and take him out of this irritating disease.

7/21/2012
During the middle of the night, he went to the toilet for 3-4 times - stools being not red at all. I barely missed him going to the toilet by himself since I was half dosing off too. Dad came at 10:30AM and then I departed. I missed the whole day of Alwin's status, but from what I heard, Alwin was doing just fine - at least in terms of his stool color and his blood counts and vital signs. Though he complained a bit about trying to sleep but always had to wake up because of constant assessments.

I went back to the hospital at around 10PM. He was awake for a few hours until he got Avant and a poke to the finger. Then he went back to sleep (2AM)

July 2nd week -

7/8/2012

Up until midnight to morning, Alwin's latest stool color was still a bit red; but definitely not as red as yesterday's. The platelets were working. He could not really fell asleep, I could tell by him closing his eyes yawning consistently for a few hours. Until 8:30AM, Dad came first and I took off. I woke up at aroud 4PM and gave a shout to my Mom. So Alwin has not been awake after I left, he slept along - which is a good thing! I also heard a reason behind Alwin not willing to walk around - he told his favourite nurse that he felt he look ugly, with his bold head, chubbiness and his scar behind the head from the fall when he was young, and that he did not want people to see him a lot. I don't blame him, everyone still want his own pride. Throughout the day I didn't hear anyone visiting him, which kind of surprised me since it is a Sunday. At around 6PM, Alwin went for another bowel movement, which was still pinky red in color. I heard from Alicia that Alwin has been up at night watching his favorite Anime and listening his classic favorite Animelo songs. He also joked with the nurse there. He seemed really happy His bowel movement seemed less frequent for the day, but that is so far the only good sign of improvement. The redness has not gone away. (12:25AM)

7/9/2012

I woke up and went to work. Called Mom and got some updates. No major changes - he had blood and platelet transfusion. Stools are on the flesh red side, although he did go less frequent. Mom found another new massage therapist and see if anything would work to help out the bleeding of the guts. The massage therapist stayed for an hour to give Alwin a general foot massage that focused on guts and GI tract. The last bowel movement was a little on the lighter red side. I also heard that a few nurses said green stools were instead a poor prognosis instead of dark brown or red. We are now all confused to what we should expect now. 

There is currently a really big issue approaching us now, that is - we are running out of sleep to everyone. Alicia will be going back to school because she already took off 3 weeks. My Mom will be in the hospital for more hours (she arrived at around 9AM and will be at least in there for more than 24 hours until maybe Dad or Alicia comes by). And my Dad usually have to drive my Mom back - leaving Alwin behind by himself. I can only do so much because I have work 9-5 and I take care of him Friday and Saturday night - which I am surprised that I still have enough sleep. We really need someone to look after him between the time where Mom or Alicia takes off for a shower or nap. And unfortunately my Dad is the designated driver for both of them. And I know a lot of people have work between this time period. I beg you guys, if anyone of you have time, please let us know and schedule with us so that anyone of us can take a half day off or so, or even drive them back home will be helpful so that Dad can contribute staying over. We cannot maintain like this for too long. We are pretty much up for 36 hours per day (if we cannot sleep well in the hospital). Mom, for instance, is there since this morning 10AM and will be there until tomorrow afternoon when Alicia takes over, which is usually around 3-5PM. Please call us at any of the following numbers if you can contribute helping us and Alwin out.

My number 604-780-0187

Alicia 778-892-9052

Mom 604-369-8233

Dad 856-425-1428 (Long distance)

I just called Mom and figured out after the transfusion, Alwin's platelet remained low (from 37 to 32), although his haemoglobin is moderately high. Mom sounded really depressed by herself there. She had a feeling that she was just staying there waiting for something to happen. I chatted with her and comforted her - it does not matter what the outcome is, he will be always with us. 

At the moment, I am just more worried about how much my Mom can really handle, it definitely is really depressing just staying there alone with no one to talk to. 

7/10/2012

Mom called me in the morning to let me know some news. He felt tingling around his body - nurse mentioned that it was due to the low haemoglobin. He will be getting some blood today. His platelets are currently ok - at 40's. Stools are still red but lighter side. My Mom has not yet even slept until yesterday 10AM. Alwin mentioned that he felt like eating something. So Mom decided to drive back to Richmond T&T and buy something to make some congee and bring it back to the hospital. I tried calling someone to help out, but bad timing no one was really available. Mom was awake for so long. I needed to call Jenny and see if she could help out - at least on driving her because no one could've driven properly without any sleep for 30 hours. Eventually, Jenny and Victor drove Mom back to hospital. I got off work at 4PM and rushed to hospital. Knowing that Alwin eventually didn't want to eat or try the congee/soup, Mom was feeling a little unhappy for trying so hard. A spiritual care-worker came in our room and asked for Alwin. At first, we all thought what was a spiritual care-worker doing here? He asked Alwin if he wanted to talk to him, Alwin said no. After a few convinces... he still didn't want to talk to him. Alwin thought the care-worker was talking more on the religion side of spirits... but after chatting for half an hour with Mom and Dad, he is a care-worker that provides the mental and energy side of spiritual help. The care-worker will find a way to talk to Alwin tomorrow. So I took off with Mom and Dad, and picked up Alicia and we went for dinner. During dinner, I mentioned that I knew everyone would be taking about "What if Alwin is here, he would love it." I told them that there is no what if, because he will always be here with us. I also received a message from Jenny saying that Alwin was having fun with two of them playing Monopoly. After dinner, I took Mom and Dad back and drove Alicia to hospital. As I told Alwin that I was taking off with Jenny, he said "That early?" Looking at his look, I really wanted to stay, but I know we have work tomorrow, and Alicia will be here for him. I noticed also that his left arm has lots of bruises from the injections, meaning that his platelets are low. His stools since two days ago is still bloody red.

Today was a challenge - how to work this out as a whole family to figure things out. Jenny and Victor helped out. Thank you - I'm sure everyone appreciates this.

7/11/2012

In the midnight, Alicia was really worried about a random increase in frequency of Alwin going to the toilet - every hour for almost 5 times. She messaged me and told me about the situation. I asked her to ask the nurse to check his vitals. It sounded fine and I believed it was just the drug that the nurse gave him to get rid of his puffiness. He went to the toilet quite frequent, but a few times were all urine, although there were blood in it. Kenneth (cousin) called in the middle of the day and offered some help. We completely appreciate the offers. I told him I would call him back if we need any of urgent need of help - it is really hard to accommodate when we need help but I am sure in the afternoon, we will need someone to take care of him in between 10AM to 6PM, which is when everyone has work... 

Alwin ordered a game online - K-ON for PS3. Alicia went home and we were all planning to bring the PS3 and my computer monitor to the hospital for him to play. Alicia made sure everything worked well and then have Dad bring it over to the hospital. Yay! So that Dad brought the PS3 and the controller, and using my computer monitor, the PS3 can output with HDMI. Trouble came - Mom called me and said there is no audio output since the monitor has no speaker. Alwin added that there looked like a audio aux jack at the back of the monitor. So then I would have to take a speaker to him. But eventually there was a headphone that I felt somewhere that Mom found. And here are some pictures of Alwin playing =)

Me being here gave Mom and Dad a chance to have dinner. During this period, Alwin used the PS3 and downloaded Final Fantasy 8! Alwin also wanted to see me play Djmax3 in the PS Vita. So I played until Dad bought me dinner. Then Mom's desperation again started. She called me in the same floor and wanted me to eat in front of Alwin to give him a feel of having appetite to drink the soup Mom made yesterday. I completely disagreed and hung up on her. I cannot believe Mom is still trying to use her maniac approach to make him do something. I finished dinner and went back to the room. Then I saw Alwin trying out the soup himself - without even needing to eat in front of him or force him to have appetite. Mom made 4-6 different kind of soups: pork, meat, vegetable, chicken etc. He tried 3 different kind, but didn't like any of them. It was not that he didn't like it, but when the nurse asked and mentioned about his taste, "Did it not taste what it was suppose to taste like Alwin?" Then he nodded. His taste bud is not as sensitive now and he definitely feels unhappy about it. Alwin went for another bowel movement - in Mom words rusty brown in color. Alwin stopped playing PS3 when he saw Mom packing - looking like he didn't want her to leave. After Mom departed, he also asked me what about me? How I really wanted to stay with him 24/7. But he knew that Dad would be staying over night tonight. Dad also wanted to contribute, but just didn't know how to accommodate everyone. As Alwin slowly felt asleep, I told Dad about things that he should be aware of, and then I unwillingly left the hospital. God Bless Alwin, thank you for letting him be able to continue enjoy playing games.

7/12/2012
Was too busy at work. Mom called me around at 10AM and asked me whether she should broadcast this on the radio since she and Dad knows the owner of Aberdeen Centre and the radio station. She wanted to ask if anyone has been through this and recovered. I told Mom that this is completely unnecessary and that she has to stop digging ways and things out to search for a solution. Other people in the world might have or have not survived through this, but that does not mean the same thing will happen to Alwin. I told Mom that she has to really stop and relax. She is making this loop herself - just like last night, she wanted me to eat in front of Alwin to make him have appetite to drink her soup; we agreed not to do that in the first place. Telling her that both outcomes would be good for Alwin convinced her last night, but she went back to this state of devastation. I understand her starting point. But all we can do as a family is provide continuous care. Leave the rest to the nurses and doctors to handle.

Up until noon, nothing really has changed. I heard Alwin went to the toilet quite often last night from what Dad mentioned. His platelets were as low as 20s. But after he got some, it went back up to 50s. I also heard a co-worker came and visit him at around 6PM, they chatted well. Alwin was awake for a few hours. He also decided to walk two laps himself!

I wanted to download a PS2 game for Alwin, so I didn't go to the hospital today. Alicia, Lok and I were trying to figure out how to download and burn this 7-year-old game tonight.

God Bless Alwin. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to make Alwin fulfilled.

7/13/2012
TGIF. Work was completely like a zerg rush. Mom called me at 10AM to give me a broad update on Alwin. He didn't go to the toilet for more than 3 times last night and slept a lot. He also asked who will be taking care of him tonight. Mom replied I will be, and he replied "Well that's cool!". So glad that he will be looking forward to this. Afterwards, a second call from Mom at 12PM was another news. The doctor has stopped providing him the GVHD treatment - most likely meaning that the GVHD is considered untreatable. Moreover, we were told by the doctor that the pink and white pill that he did not take was actually for diarrhea and GVHD!!! Because it was so hard for him to swallow, we asked the nurses how to let him take this pill, and they said it was not as important since it was for his stomach cramp. The pill has not be given to Alwin anymore. Mom was going crazy, like liternally crazy and panicked when she heard about the halt of the treatment. She now is asking why it has to be stopped and why no pills anymore. On the other hand, Alwin was frustrated why Mom has to get so upset about the pills if the nurses/doctors said it was not important. He knows that the treatment will not be given anymore. But he still believes that this takes time to recover and thinks he will recover. I am happy for his hopeful mind. I arrived at 5PM seeing Dad here, Mom went home to take a shower. They will be attending a dinner.

I came across the nurse leader and we had a chat about Alwin. She was more concerned on how my Mom would face the outcome. She was the one who called for the spiritual advisor, and it was targeted for Mom instead of Alwin. She also pretty much confirmed that the treatments were not beneficial to Alwin any more and that was why they took it out. She knew that Mom is still at the beginning stage of accepting this only. She gave me a hug and hope to see us on Monday for another meeting - which I do not think anything new would be said since we can see it with our eyes.

Jenny and Victor came by for a visit. Alwin tried to sleep in between but had to do assessment and he hilariously cursed because he was awaken by the nurse. Mom and Dad came back from dinner; had a talk with Mom and see how she is dealing with it now. She seemed like she stood up more than before. And I kind of shared her my way of thinking about life and afterlife: there are two worlds I believe in, one where we are now, and the other one is a place where there are bodies without spirits controlling. When we leave this world, our spirits go to that place and will move into the spiritless bodies and continue to live eternally - kind of like the way religion explains as "heaven" or "reincarnation", but more in a scientific way.

Alwin could not get into deep sleep yet at around 12AM. He called me twice to see what I was doing - as I am actually typing this entry in. I stopped and sat by him, touching him until he fell asleep again. 

7/14/2012
I didn't even know what time it was that I fell asleep, but Jenny was in front of me looking at me when I opened my eyes (9:30AM). It also looked like Alwin recorded a time at 6:30AM going to the toilet by himself without help. Jenny arrived to cover me up to go home and take a nap until Mom and Dad arrive to the hospital. I didn't really have a chance to nap but took a shower and went out to eat. Jenny told me and said Dr. Powers (the main doctor responsible for Alwin's case) told Alwin that there was nothing else that they can do any more to treat the disease, but they can provide supportive care to "maintain and keep" him at this status the most they can. Mom also talked to the doctor about the Chinese medicine that might help him with his bleeding. The doctor agreed to mention it to him and let him know that we never knew what can happen but there is an alternative medication here. Alwin did not have a response yet to that idea - or his response was that doctor never mentioned anything special. So we were suspecting that Alwin didn't want to take them, or he completely forgot what the doctor mentioned.

After having lunch-dinner, I went back to try to take a nap, but at most an hour, and went back to the hospital. Rex and Gloria (cousins) were here, and I heard that they played Monopoly Deal for a few hours. And when I arrive, Rex was just about to start to play Checkers with Alwin. Alwin was actually exhausted from the Monopoly, but he insisted to play with Rex. During the game, Alwin was playing with only one eye opened (his usual look when he was tired or when he just wake up). He was also felling asleep with his head dangling in mid-air a few times. Providing this, he won the game! We all insulted Rex for losing this game to Alwin, and he smiled =D Thanks Rex and Gloria for coming.

As Mom, Dad, Alicia, Rex and Gloria depart, Alwin slowly went back to sleep.

July 1st week -

7/1/2012
I went to the hospital at noon and see how things were going. I was told that Alwin did not bleed at all judging from the color of his stools. Everyone else went back as Jenny and I stayed a little longer. We played Monopoly Deal again like two weeks ago! He took the second Cellton pill, but puked after a few minutes because of the bad position he was sat in. Jenny went home and I stayed overnight in the hospital, seeing Alwin awake all night long except taking a nap for one hour. That surprised me. We had fun playing games on our own but chatting together. It was nice seeing him back to his game.

7/2/2012
Mom came in the morning at 6:30am after hearing that Alwin puked from the pill. I went home to take a nap, but woke up at 12pm and went back to the hospital. Knowing that Alicia did not even give a shout to ask for the situation, me and my parents went into an argument just to figure out who to stay overnight - but really, why do we have to have a stupid argument over this? I talked to one of the nurse and she suggested my parents to go have a chat with social workers because being emotionally attached to the situation, any one of us will blindly make a wrong decision.
Mom called Alicia to ask what was happening... Parents went back for a shower. 
At this time, I reminded Alwin to take his pills - including Cellton. He took the one prescribed by the doctor, but he refused to take the Cellton. He said that will make him puke again. He insisted and said this is the last resolution, "NO MORE 2ND ONE, I CAN ONLY TAKE ONE PER DAY".
At the meantime, Alicia came. Afterwards parents came back too. But eventually my mom stayed overnight, whereas dad, Alicia and I went home.

7/3/2012
I went back to work as normal. I called my mom at 11am to get some information. I was told that Alwin had bloody urine - a sign that might come from gallstones, from the treatment (Octreotide - a drug that slows down diarrhea and internal gut bleeding). He will be doing an X-Ray scan to his bladder later on this afternoon. He refused to take the (first) Cellton this morning even though promised yesterday. He knew that made Mom really unhappy. But he still did not take it. 
It took around an hour an a half for the X-Ray line up to process. Then Alwin was taken to scanning. Dad arrived at around 3:00pm - just right after Alwin finished scanning. And another dramatic scene started...
Dad asked Alwin why he did not take the Cellton pill. Alwin replied and said he believed that would do no good to him. Dad was really setup because Alwin promised to take it last night. Mom just replied, "I eventually have to go home a take a rest. I can stay here 24/7 with you and give all my love to you. But you have to reply and show some love by taking it - whether it is working or not." Alwin cursed and took the pill immediately with a big mood burst. Mom just stayed and cleaned up after Alwin and tugged him to bed before taking off.

Alwin fall asleep as they depart. Mom called me when they depart. I heard the news and took off early from work because Alwin was all alone by himself. I arrived at 4:45pm and he was sleeping. At the meantime, one nurse told me that Alwin might have a viral infection in his bladder. So she needed to take a urine sample. Alwin played with his transformer pad until he was bored.

And we decided to play Monopoly together using the pad. One stool came out to be a little bloodier than expected. After that he was feeling really nauseous. He could barely sleep, but eventually I convinced him to. 

Mom and dad finally arrived at around 10pm as they just noticed that I was here. Mom made some "soup" for him to drink a few sips. I am sure those are not just soup... but whatever works. 

I took off at 10:15pm, telling Alwin to take good care of himself and listen to Mom more. Alicia will be arriving at 10:45pm.

God Bless him tonight.

7/4/2012

Woke up feeling lack of sleep, I messaged Alicia to ask for some updates. I heard that Alwin got pissed from needing to go to the bathroom every hour, making him extremely lack of sleep. His steroids must be giving him a hard time to sleep. Alicia ended up sleeping 3 hours. Mom arrived around 10:45am and Alicia took off for a meal and afterwards home to take a rest. Mom was depressed from hearing the urine getting redder. The result has yet to come out from the dip test and X-Ray. Up till 3:00pm, Mom has been there for him and constantly changing his stool color or any type of changes. The color seemed back to the greenish color, maybe with a little platelet. Doctor mentioned that it is a up and down cycle and said he is on the stable side now. When i arrived, dad and mom were here just relaxing while Alwin was asleep on the chair. However, he woke up 5 minutes after i arrive following some random new symptoms, a mild nose bleeding and a pale face.

Alfie and James (Alwin's coworker) came by and visited. However, Alwin was really stoned due to the strong antibiotic that he was taking and did not really respond a lot. He ended up lying on one side playing with his pad. So they ended up taking off to let Alwin take some rest. Thank you both for coming!

Afterwards, some frustrating thing came up. Alwin was told that he, or anyone of us, has to inject insulin for him from now on; that also includes checking blood sugar level with the finger-poking needle device. Nurses and dietitian said this is for his long term benefit to check it by himself. I personally think this is not right. Firstly, Alwin being in his current status can barely remember to even take his oral pills, and he is expected to do this? Secondly, isn't this why the nurses are here for? Thirdly, he cannot even hold anything stable, and they expect him to stab himself with the insulin? Fourthly, Alwin sleeps most of the time and we are not always besides him, how do the nurse expect we to keep track of this? And lastly, we were the ones told that his status is day by day under observation, and what? They said this is for his long term benefit? Aren't we going too far from now? I am sure I have enough reasons to judge that this is not the right practice for someone like him now. On top of that, my over-confident Mom tried twice using that device, but for twice she forgot to clean up the site before injection, neither did she wear gloves. I tried talking to one of the nurses to let her know that we wanted them to handle this instead. I ended up getting a response that pretty much is the same meaning as ignoring me. I feel like some of these nurses and doctors are giving up on giving intensive care, though I know this is not the Intensive Care Unit. But given that his corresponding doctor is not here for a week and some nurses are suggesting all these self-care practices, I am not sure where else can convince me that they are still caring as much, except the fact that he is still being given constant medications. 

I left at around 8:00pm, Mom will stay overnight tonight. Dad bought her dinner before he departed.

God Bless Alwin. God please take care of Alwin for me if the nurses cannot be much of help.

7/5/2012

Woke up feeling confused, I went back to work on time. Called my mom at 10:30AM to get some news. Alwin did not bleed a lot from his back passage. I heard it was minimal volume. However he did not sleep at all, or, cannot sleep. Mom did not sleep too because Alwin was awake all night long. I do not think my Mom can last healthy like this for very long until she gets sick. I tried going overnight 3~4 nights consecutively, and it was depressing, tiring, and feeling hungry and weak. But there are just so much we can do. My dad drives around my sister and my mom, he does not stay overnight. My sister  and mom are taking the night shifts every other day alternatively. I can only take Friday and Saturday night. The reason why we are doing this is because Alwin will definitely feel left out or lonely if no one was there the moment he wakes up. And as most of you know, Alwin needs a lot of attention. The last and least thing we want to do is to left him out. 

In the afternoon, Eric and Haruna (our cousin) came by and accompanied Alwin. They played a few games of Monopoly Deal with him and chitchatted for an hour or so. Alwin was pretty energetic while they were here. They departed at around 2:30PM and Alwin went back to sleep. 

Though there is currently an issue with his back passage now - he is getting skin rashes around the spot and nurses gave a caution that he can get a skin infection from there. Mom wants to stay to help Alwin take care of his rashes even though Alicia said she can take care of it tonight.

I contacted Alicia to see if she can help out to buy some briefs since Alwin needs to avoid infection. Then I overheard that mom was on the background whining randomly, meaning that no one is at the hospital again! I took off work and went to the hospital directly, having Jenny help me out to buy briefs and wash and dry them before they could be used.

When it was time for Alwin to take his pills, he asked for the Cellton pill! And without a thought he took it! I was so surprised! Good job brother!!

Mom and Alicia arrived at 7:00pm. Dad bought food for us, and everyone was here in the room reunited. While we were chatting, mom mentioned something I find really serious - the nurse in charge in the morning forgot to give Alwin his pills (for preventing high blood pressure, liver and heart infection). Mom said she felt something awkward, and noticed not until 1pm, she noticed Alwin hasn't taken his pills yet! And not until she mentioned it to the nurse, she gave it back to him! How can this mistake be tolerated?! I went to ask the nurse leader, and after she went to investigate, she came back and just elaborate on the other nurse getting distracted and that a few hours late of the medication would not do any harm to Alwin. I do not think that is the point. But if anything like a blood transfusion be forgotten, that could cause his life! My mom was holding on filing a complain to CRNBC for now.

Anyhow, since they are all here, I took off with Jenny at 8:30pm and let them take care of Alwin. God Bless us.

7/6/2012

Called Mom to get some updates at noon. Mom said she arrived at around 10:00AM. She said Alwin took the medication early in the morning (including Cellton). He also received the 6th dose of the GVHD treatment - though the treatment was known to be non-responsive by the doctors, we still believe anything that he receives will work! His stool color from the last few previous bowel movements was brown red - meaning there are some bleeding from the guts. Everyone was up for a few hours.

In the afternoon, the nurse wanted Alwin to at least walk a lap, but he refused to. Mom made some herbal soup from yesterday to stop his internal bleeding, but Alwin did not feel like drinking them. At a moment Alwin wanted to drink soy milk, but since Dad went to the dentist, Mom needed to walk all the way to safeway and buy one. When she was back, Alwin did not want to drink it anymore. Up until now, his previous few runs of bowel movements came out to be red, which was not good at all. Mom was really fed up from him being overly stubborn, and wanted to consider telling him his situation to force him to drink the soup. But I ended up stopping her to do so (on the phone) because that would only make him feel miserable for the time being.

Jenny and I arrived at around 8:30PM to take over the shift. As I arrived, I feel this bizarre environment. Mom started telling me where the chinese medicine, soup and drinks are located. She then started sighing and telling me how hard she tried to convince Alwin to drink them but never succeeded. Mom also mentioned that I would be surprised if I see how red his stool color is. After they depart, the room was in silence again. I could hear Alwin breathing deeply, even deeper than before while he was asleep. He used to wake himself up with some cough a few days ago. But he was sleeping so deep that his cough would not wake him up, nor would his dream-talking. Mom called me again to ask for his white blood cell count, but I hung up after telling her that the count would not be relevant at all to the internal bleeding.

At around 10:30PM, Mom called me again and talked about how Alwin did not even take his other prescribed pills. Jenny and I went to talk to the nurse and see what could be offered since we know this would be a serious situation. The nurse wanted him to take at least the pill that maintains his heart. He did. And afterwards, he was awake for a bit. So three of us started playing Monopoly Deal again! From what Jenny said, there is currently an extended version. Alwin is really interested in it. I am planning to go get it tomorrow!

So after two games - one won by Alwin, he pressed the Hydromorphone and was getting ready to go back to sleep again. Except that, Mom called again with Dad beside her telling me and Jenny to convince him to take his Cellton and Chinese medicine. They desperately wanted him to take them because they knew after this weekend, the doctors would have another evaluation on where this would be going. Jenny tried to have a talk with Alwin while I was occupied on the phone with Mom. Mom was getting to the point where her focus was to force Alwin to drink or take the chinese medication and Cellton pill by telling him in his face that his bleeding was not stopping or the western medicine was not working. But I am positive till now he has a sense of it. While Jenny was talking to him, I went to talk to another nurse and see if there were anything that they would do to accommodate us on helping Alwin take any other alternative medicine. Jenny came out afterwards and we chatted a bit. And we noticed that everything seemed to come out of my Mom's objective, but she never really tried thinking what Alwin was going through. We finished chatting with the nurse. Jenny updated me back with what Alwin talked about - he does not like Mom now. Seeing her coming in and out and first thing she asked him or last thing she said to him would always be "Did you take Cellton yet?" It has come to the point where my Mom is actually annoying Alwin and everyone now - which I do not hate her or blame her for it. But the nurse said something that really made sense - there has to be a balance between giving him what he wants and forcing him and giving him more stress. Alwin told Jenny that he was feeling really stressful when Mom was around because he knew her motive would always be on the Cellton. Jenny left at around 1:45AM, for she has papers to do.

I am getting more confused everyday... what am I to do? Though I completely disagree on forcefully telling Alwin to take those supplements, they did show some results after he took it. Time is running out; Alwin said that he would take it by himself without anyone consistently reminding him, which would instead annoy him.

At around 2:20AM, and Alwin woke up to go to the toilet. He likes to call it "The obstacle besides my foot" - it must be a part of his dream when he kicks a stone or some sort. The first thing he asked was "Did Jenny left?". I am starting to notice when he asks such question with a name in it, that person is really trustworthy to me. 

7/7/2012

Alwin definitely had a good sleep. He only went to the toilet once at 5:55AM, and the second time 10:10AM. Although the stools were flesh red, doctor came in and evaluated that the less frequency of going bowel movement supports a good sign of recovery. Dad and Mom came at around 10:00AM, so did Josey, our long term maid when we were young and took care of Alicia for almost her whole life starting when she was born. However, maybe because of the loss of blood, Alwin was not too conscious to talk to anyone. Mom also brought him his favourite Coca-cola, the class bottle version! He took a sip and said something really funny afterwards, "哇! 好舒服! 但係呢一淡都製造幾多創傷。" - or in English, "Wow! That was good. But this sip probably created some damage". Me and Mom laughed at his response. 

I took off at around 2PM to go home and take a big nap. Woke up at 8PM, and notices that Mom eventually mentionde about Doctor Chan's medicine that would stop his bleeding, but Alwin said no to taking it again. Mom also noticed that on the name list besides Alwin's last name, there was a red card showing "Alert". I think the doctors had a poor prognosis about these few days. Nurse came in to do blood work and talked to Alwin about walking another lap or two because it would be good for his lungs and blood circulation. But he replied "Not today." Nurse insisted but Alwin's answer was consistent. Mom saw this situation, with Dad bugging her about having dinner together, they took off to grab a bite. I quickly took a shower and took off to have dinner with Jenny too and eventually arrived at the hospital at 10:30PM. Just right when I arrived, Mom and Dad wanted to take off right away. And immediately Alwin when to the toilet - and yes, his stools were still bloody. After his bowel movement, he took his transformer pad and started watching some Japanese anime. After 30 minutes, he felt tired. Nurse came in to do his blood sugar, so I asked him some questions. First, the red tag "Alert" was to notify the nurses that there are two "WONG"s, just so the medication and charts do not mix up. Second, even though he might be bleeding from his back passage, his blood counts looks normal at the moment. So currently he is still stable in a way - I hope I am not just convincing myself.